Precelsus
(pray-KEL-so)

Short Story: Herman's Diary
by Paul Pakusch

Page 2

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  James now understood why he had never seen Margaret again. He was the reason he never saw her after 1946 when he was younger. His older self had married her! He took steps to be sure she would not encounter his younger self. He bought a new home for her parents in South Carolina. He managed to keep Margaret from visiting College Park.

 

  James and Margaret lived a Southern life on their beloved plantation. He continued to invest and increase his fortune. They became world travelers. But as the years went by, James grew bored and lonely. He had too much time on his hands and too little too do. Life became too predictable. It was no longer necessary to read the newspapers because he had already seen it. He knew when the Korean conflict would end. He knew who would win the Presidential races. He knew what movies would be popular, what fads would occur, when celebrities were going to die, and what the new car models would look like. There were no challenges left for him. Any investment he made was a guaranteed winner because he already knew the results. Life became too easy.

  Margaret was a beautiful woman, but he found that more and more he missed Doris. He came to realize that Margaret was only the object of his younger desires and that he had acted upon those desires by winning her heart and marrying her when he was 44 and she was only 20. Thrust into a life where she could have everything money could buy, she grew cold and distant. Material possessions were her passion.

  James regretted what he had done to Doris. He had spent years ignoring her while building up his own secret paradise. He realized the object of his lust could not substitute the love and commitment he should have given and received from Doris. Even his time machine could not bring that back. Jumping through time was easy for him. But he could not change the biological aging that had taken place in his body.

 

1963 - James' body was now 61 years old. He was depressed. He had lived the years 1945 through 1963 twice. He had murdered his first wife, who he now missed, and grown apart from his second wife, who cared only about the latest fashions and decor for their mansion. James had no desire to continue beyond 1963. He knew what world events, fashions and fads were to come and he did not want to live through it. He also did not want to return to 1945 to live those years a third time. Even with a time machine, he could not turn back the clock and reunite with Doris. It was not possible for his older self to prevent the murder of her by his younger self and resume their marriage. He had already tampered with time enough; to do more could affect history in unfathomable ways.

  Depressed, James decided to end it all. The date of the plane crash that had killed Doris was growing closer. He decided to book himself on the same flight. Since he looked much older, she would not recognize him. Besides, she would have just left his younger self, who saw her off at the airport.

  "No one should tamper with time by traveling through it," he thought.

  To prevent anyone else from finding it, James took Herman's diary outside, poured gasoline on it, and lit a match. He went to his Piper Cub and dismantled the time machine inside of it.

  After his affairs were in order, he dressed in his best suit and put on his derby. He drove to the airport in Washington where the doomed airliner would be waiting for him.

  Arriving at the airport, he parked the car and put on his derby. He noticed his younger 43-year old self saying goodbye to Doris. He walked up to his younger self and flashed a broad smile. He turned and walked into the airport and bought a cup of coffee.

  Then he purchased a ticked for the ill-fated flight and boarded the airplane. Doris was already seated. Being much older than her, she did not recognize him. Soon the flight would take off and they would die together.

  James walked to the rear of the plane and took an empty seat next to a distinguished looking gentleman with gray hair, a goatee and a mustache. James sat down next to him and fastened his seatbelt. The man smiled and Jim smiled back.

  "Jim Meara?" the man asked.

  Startled, Jim said, "Yes. How did you know?"

  "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jim," said the man in a German accent. "My name is Herman."

The End